I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
