His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Green mimosas i think yes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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