Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
