meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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