Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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