One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
