So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
