I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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