don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
