her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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