I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
