We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
