it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
