just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The uberlube is also flammable
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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