I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
