# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
