ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
