Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

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(209): View more from California

You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.

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(206): View more from Washington

we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment

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(651): View more from Minnesota

dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life

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(773): View more from Illinois

Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.

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(330): View more from Ohio

my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?

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