dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
