I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
