Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize