She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
