if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
