Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
