Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
