oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
