So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
