Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize