my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
