You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
