ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
