2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
