i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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