super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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