How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
