How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
