i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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