the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
