She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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