I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
