I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
