They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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