WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
