I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
