i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
