In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
