your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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