Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
