Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
