Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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