Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is wine microwaveable?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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