I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize