Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra

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(702): View more from Nevada

we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

(573): View more from Missouri

Jealous.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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(818): View more from California

I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

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(949): View more from California

When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch

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