Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just had sex bonerless
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
