who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
