I puked a lego.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
