I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
