i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
