Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
