so that wasnt chicken after all
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize