Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
