it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
