I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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